1. if your choking on an ice cube,simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat.presto.the blockage will instantly remove itself.

2. avoid cuttiyourself when slicing veges by getting someone else to hold them while you chop.

3. avoid arguments with females about lifting the toilet seat ,use the sink.

4. for high blood pressure sufferers simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minuits,thus reducing the pressureon your veins ,remember to use a timer.

5. a mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling back over and going back to sleep when you hit the snooze button.

6. if you have a bad cough ,take a large dose of laxatives.then youl be afraid to cough.

7. you only need two tools in life.w d 40 and duct taoe.if it doesnt move and should,use the w d 40.if it shouldnt move and it does, use the duct tape.

8. remember everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

9. if you cant fix it with a hammer,youve got an electrical problem.

daily thought. some people are like slinkees, not realy good for anything,but they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs.