Paddy had been at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the night celebrating St Patrick's day
Mick, the bartender says," You'll not be drinking any more tonight Paddy"
Paddy replies, "Ok Mick, Oi"ll be one me way then".
Paddy spins round on his stool and steps off.And falls flat on his face.
"Shoite", he says and pulls himself back up by the stool and dusts himself off.
He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face again, "Shoite, Shoite"
He looks to the doorway and thinks if he can just get to the door and get some fresh air he'll be fine.
He belly crawls to the door and shimmies up the door frame, opens the door and takes a breath of fresh air., feels much better and takes a step out on to the sidewalk and falls flat on his face.
"Bi Jesus....I'm fockin focked," he says.
He can see his house just a few doors down and crawls to the door, hauls himself up the door frame and shimmies inside.
He takes a look up the stairs and says,"No fookin way".
He crawls up the stairs to his bedroom door and says ,"I can make it to the bed".
He takes a step towards the bed and falls flat on his face yet again. "Fook it" he says and crawls in to bed and passes out.
The next morning his wife, Jess, comes in to the room carrying a cup of coffee and says, "Get up Paddy. Did you have a bit to drink last night?"
Paddy says," I did, Jess. I was fookin pissed. But how do you know?"
"Mick phoned from the pub and said you'd left your fookin wheelchair at the pub!!!"
( back from BALI 
)
alfred
Posts: 3097
Date Joined: 12/01/07
Not everyone is a pervert
A naked and drunken woman boards taxi one evening.
The driver keeps staring and does not start the taxi.
Woman: "Haven't you ever seen a naked woman before?"
Driver: "I'm not staring at you lady….
Just wondering where you keep the money to pay me"
Brooky
Posts: 74
Date Joined: 25/04/10
Two Fish
Two Fish are in their TANK one fish turns to the other and says I'll drive you get on the machine gun
Just get me back on the water
deepwater
Posts: 1927
Date Joined: 09/05/07
Not bad, not bad at all
Not bad, not bad at all
jeff
alfred
Posts: 3097
Date Joined: 12/01/07
Researchers have found that
Researchers have found that patients needing blood transfusions may benefit
from receiving chicken blood rather than human blood.
It tends to make the men cocky and the women lay better....
Johnyy_Boii
Posts: 328
Date Joined: 20/04/09
5 eagle supporters die in a
5 eagle supporters die in a car accident whilst driving a cadilac
whats the sad part?
a cadilac seats 6
Adam Gallash
Posts: 15665
Date Joined: 29/11/05
Excluding BJ and Uncle. :)
Site Admin - Just ask if you need assistance
sandbar
Posts: 704
Date Joined: 25/10/09
love that last 1.
love that last 1.
carnarvonite
Posts: 8706
Date Joined: 24/07/07
Pissed
Paddy had been at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the night celebrating St Patrick's day
Mick, the bartender says," You'll not be drinking any more tonight Paddy"
Paddy replies, "Ok Mick, Oi"ll be one me way then".
Paddy spins round on his stool and steps off.And falls flat on his face.
"Shoite", he says and pulls himself back up by the stool and dusts himself off.
He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face again, "Shoite, Shoite"
He looks to the doorway and thinks if he can just get to the door and get some fresh air he'll be fine.
He belly crawls to the door and shimmies up the door frame, opens the door and takes a breath of fresh air., feels much better and takes a step out on to the sidewalk and falls flat on his face.
"Bi Jesus....I'm fockin focked," he says.
He can see his house just a few doors down and crawls to the door, hauls himself up the door frame and shimmies inside.
He takes a look up the stairs and says,"No fookin way".
He crawls up the stairs to his bedroom door and says ,"I can make it to the bed".
He takes a step towards the bed and falls flat on his face yet again. "Fook it" he says and crawls in to bed and passes out.
The next morning his wife, Jess, comes in to the room carrying a cup of coffee and says, "Get up Paddy. Did you have a bit to drink last night?"
Paddy says," I did, Jess. I was fookin pissed. But how do you know?"
"Mick phoned from the pub and said you'd left your fookin wheelchair at the pub!!!"